Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Once upon a time, there lived a little girl. She had just broken up with her boy of 4 years and was a complete emotional wreck. A lean mean mood swinging machine, she strives to perfect her "I'm Okay" face and demeanor, to be normal so that that the boy and her could still hang out as friends. She was jealous of the boy. How he could seem so nonchalant about the whole thing? Surely he must hurt inside, just like her. The truth was though, he was stronger than her, only because he had been hurting for a far greater time. She understands this and yet, can barely keep herself under control and ends up compromising the very friendship in search for an explanation behind all this nonchalance.

Fast forward to Valentines Day. A cliched, disgusting, gross and overdone celebration of love between couples everywhere. A day that was never really celebrated between the two was suddenly amplified as one that perhaps should be spent together in view of the current circumstances. She wasn't sure why it was suddenly SO important to have him on v day. It didn't matter before, why should it matter now? She did realize though, that the reason why she asked him out 1 week before VDay itself, was to in a way, ensure that he spent this day with her and no one else. She wasn't ready to lose him, even though she tries everyday to convince herself, to give him the freedom and time away from her that he deserves.

On Sunday afternoon, February the 13th, the boy asks the little girl: "Can I meet you on Tuesday night instead?". Her worst fears had been confirmed. He was going on a date with someone else, wasn't he? How could he. How could he agree to a dinner with N, someone he only met a few weeks before? The little girl was appalled to say the least. But still, she rationalized. It will be okay. After all, friends are friends. And what's the difference between Monday and Tuesday? Absolutely nothing. She still met him on Sunday evening, and had plenty of fun.

On Monday morning, the little girl was in great spirits after having spent time with the boy on Sunday. Even though Monday is always a drag at work, she was genuinely happy, and looking forward to planning for Tuesday night. She has a tendency to do this. To place great expectations on little things and dissolve when they are not met. Monday afternoon, the boy texts that the date might not be on after all. And needless to say, the little girl's spirits soared right out of her and up- up and away. She thought to herself that perhaps, he did care more about her than N, that he could cancel? Suddenly everything had rainbows beaming out of them.

However at 6pm, the little girl gets the text that the boy is meeting N. Instead of being understanding and grateful that the boy even bothers to text her about his whereabouts with no lies, she goes into her "psycho-bitch mode", where everything is read into and over-thought, where sarcasm is the only method of communication, and where a concoction of anger, frustration, desperation and sadness is just flowing out of her veins. She sends some hurtful and irreversible texts to the boy, searching perhaps for an explanation, or some kind of reaction at least? She just couldn't stomach the fact that he was out with someone else. It hurt more than she thought it would, the fact that he chose someone over her. She was split between not knowing how he could do this to her, and not knowing how she could have done this to him. She felt like a first runner up, good because you won something, but not good enough to be the best. All her efforts will be second. Tuesday is second to Monday. She was second to N.

Fast forward to 1am. The little girl gets a text from the boy: "Are you asleep yet?". The girl lets her thoughts consumer her: Great, the boy just came back from his date. It's 1am. I wonder how it went. God I hope it was shitty. But why would it be? God I hate this. It's over. There's nothing to be done. Again, the psycho bitch within her rears its ugly head, and she finds herself unable to just be civil and accept things. She doesn't even know what she was searching for, or what she expected out of it. Certainly just because she felt hurt does not warrant her hurting the boy? After a tirade of verbal abuse from the girl, the boy confesses:

"I did not go out with N. I stayed home the whole night 'til 10pm because I was making you a VDay present. I wanted to surprise you with it tmr because I thought you were strong enough to accept that I was going out with N on VDay. The truth is I only met N, along with her sister and their friend for coffee at 10pm."

Suddenly, the little girl was at a loss for words. Something that could have been so sweet was destroyed into oblivion at her very own hand. Why couldn't she be stronger. Why couldn't she place the faith she knows he deserves in the boy? The very same faith that the boy had placed in her and that she compromised. She can't even decide if it was one big misunderstanding, or the very reflection of her selfish personality. She tried to apologize, to give him an explanation he would accept. But now it was the boy's turn to feel hurt and angry. It was one big mess and she was its creator.

So it is Tuesday today. Their stipulated VDay. It took a lot to convince the boy to still go along. And hopefully, although impossibly, the little girl can still make up for all her mistakes. She knows she needs to be a stronger person to get him back. She knows he is the only one she will ever love. The End.

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