So me and my boyfriend broke up. I would like to say that it was mutual, and we're going on with our lives but unfortunately for me it has been kind of insane and tragically ironic as the break stemmed from my own selfishness in the first place. I thought I could live without you. Easily. Seamlessly. After all in these 4 years it would be a lie to say that our relationship was still the "I'll die if I don't see you today", "I miss you so much", "holding hands make me so happy" kind of relationship (the inevitable degeneration I guess). Comfort sets in and you find yourself asking, is there something more? Perhaps a rational and very practical person would not want to explore the answer to the question. To be happy with what you have. I didn't do what I did because I didn't love you. I just had to know, I guess. Yes, it was a mistake. Yes, I wish I had a time machine. But no, there is nothing I can do, but believe that we'll converge again. How do you instill faith that was lost? How do you restore a person's ability to love? I wish I knew. In the meantime, I'll be waiting.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
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